RAISING GODLY BOYS:
I grew up with all things pretty and pink, a real girly-girl. Ballet was a passion of mine which I continued throughout my school years. Tu-tu’s, point shoes, sequence and dance eisteddfods were all I knew.
I dreamt of sharing this experience with my own daughter one day, taking her to her first ballet class dressed in her pretty pink leotard and satin ballet shoes. Never would I have thought that God would give me only boys! Instead of watching ballet concerts, I’m now standing on the side of rugby and hockey fields shouting for my boys!
I never would have thought how much I absolutely LOVE being a boy-mom!
Loud screaming, wrestling, shooting guns and making weapons, endless dirty clothes with holey knees and climbing every tree is just a small part of what the wonderful world of raising boys is all about. If you have the privilege of having a son (or two or more?!) then I’m sure you’ll agree with me that your life is filled with more laughter, joy and maybe a few more shattered nerves!
I have 3 boys, Judah, Ben and Daniel, 14, 12 and 10yrs old.
My life has been so much richer and fuller for it even though they’ve given me a few grey hairs along the way! If you have boys, I’d love to encourage you and share some learnings, from one mom to another on how to raise Godly boys. This doesn’t come from a place of having it all together but trusting God with every step.
- Trust God with them
Our boys are God’s children before they’re ours. The bible says that children are a gift from God, gifts from a loving Father who entrusts them to our care. We can only trust God with our kids if we truly believe that He is good and loving and that He is the one who created them in the first place.
If God gives us our children and entrusts them to our care, then we are to glorify Him in raising them according to His ways.
- Teach them
Children are like little magnets – they pick up anything and everything from their parents, especially when they’re young. It’s so important to know that everything you say and do plays a massive role in shaping and forming your children. Let’s make sure that while we still have influence over our young boys that we are taking opportunities to love, teach, nurture, and discipline them.
When they hit pre-teens, your influence starts to decrease and their peers’ influence increases.
My role and responsibility as a boy mom is, to raise boys to know God and know His ways so that they’ll grow up to be a strong, loving, God-fearing young man. It isn’t about raising perfect boys from the outside. God is more concerned with their hearts – the well-spring of life (Prov 4:23). We tend to worry more about the external behaviors than what’s going on in their hearts, the ‘what’ of behavior rather than the ‘why.’ When we deal with the ‘why’ it’ll start to change the ‘what!’
The word of God is filled with direction and wisdom in teaching and training our kids. The book of Proverbs has great guidelines on training and discipline. Take every opportunity to teach them and guide them in God’s word.
Duet 6:7 says “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”
In other words, talk about God and His ways in your everyday life with them, over the dinner table, while dressing them, driving them to school or while walking to the park. There are so many opportunities especially when they’re young!
- Encourage adventure and fun!
I believe God has placed a sense of adventure inside every boy. I remember often going to the beach with my toddler boys and Judah would run in one direction and Ben in the opposite direction as far away from us as possible. It wouldn’t be very relaxing to say the least. They’d climb every tree as high as possible, swim as deep as they could, pushing every boundary that mommy would set, giving her a few mini heart attacks! I’d often look at moms with girls who’d sit so still with them playing and drawing pretty pictures and think to myself “How do you do that!?”
As moms we need to allow our boys to adventure. Being the carers and nurturers that we are, this can often be difficult for us. But it’s so important to let them be boys, to allow time for them to scream, wrestle, run (a lot!), get dirty, climb trees etc. It’s so important in their development as young boys.
Don’t ‘helicopter-parent’ your sons – allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. We can’t bubble wrap them though life, so they don’t get hurt. Sometimes failure is the best teacher. God has placed a sense of adventure, fearlessness and conquering inside of these boys. Let’s not get in the way and let’s not stifle this in them as moms.
If God has given you sons, then know that He has given you such an incredible gift. What a privilege it is to raise these young boys into God-fearing young men that will make a difference in this world.
I want to leave you with this encouragement:
2 Peter 1:3 says “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.”
It is only by knowing and believing in God that we can live a godly life and raise godly boys. Know that He has given you everything you need, by His power to raise your sons in His ways.
We need Jesus and His power to help us raise these incredible boys so that their lives will give glory to God in all that they do.
God has given you everything that you need and has made you the perfect mom for your son!
by Candice Van Pletsen